I'm so nervous... I feel nauseous... I'm facing the possibility of something I have long prayed about... And I'm feeling like I'm walking on thin ice, or that I've somehow gone out on a limb!
Years ago, if I had have been asked if I was ready to go here, I would have overwhelmingly said yes! But now, I'm not so sure!
I think I need some confirmation on this! And maybe a little peace! Not that I'm actually going to say what it is! Where's the fun in that?
The waiting is the biggest issue! I hate waiting! I'm not particularly good at it! Yet, in so saying, I have waited a long time for many things!
The problem I am having now is "to hope or not to hope"! I dont want to hope and be disappointed, but I want to hope and trust God. The internal battle is raging and I'm not entirely sure "who" will win!
God has been showing so much of other people, where they need ministry, where they need to simply take God at his word (which I am still, obviously, struggling with), and how much He loves them! Yet, for me, He is strangely silent - especially on this particular subject... Or maybe He is speaking, but because I'm so worked up over it, I'm not hearing Him!
There are too many variables! I just want a straight answer... "Is or is not...!" And typical me, I want this answer now, please! Although, from what I've found, God doesn't seem to work like that!
Oh, help me now! Why can't life be a little more simple!?
May Gods blessings shower down upon you. And may you be coated in the dust of your Rabbi!
Years ago, if I had have been asked if I was ready to go here, I would have overwhelmingly said yes! But now, I'm not so sure!
I think I need some confirmation on this! And maybe a little peace! Not that I'm actually going to say what it is! Where's the fun in that?
The waiting is the biggest issue! I hate waiting! I'm not particularly good at it! Yet, in so saying, I have waited a long time for many things!
The problem I am having now is "to hope or not to hope"! I dont want to hope and be disappointed, but I want to hope and trust God. The internal battle is raging and I'm not entirely sure "who" will win!
God has been showing so much of other people, where they need ministry, where they need to simply take God at his word (which I am still, obviously, struggling with), and how much He loves them! Yet, for me, He is strangely silent - especially on this particular subject... Or maybe He is speaking, but because I'm so worked up over it, I'm not hearing Him!
There are too many variables! I just want a straight answer... "Is or is not...!" And typical me, I want this answer now, please! Although, from what I've found, God doesn't seem to work like that!
Oh, help me now! Why can't life be a little more simple!?
May Gods blessings shower down upon you. And may you be coated in the dust of your Rabbi!
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